Wishing & Willing

What was.

2011-12-18T18:51:00.005+08:00

It's been a while since I blogged. Not because I haven't had anything to ponder, but rather because I have had too much, and it all became a little overwhelming.

Where to start now? How about a recap of the year. At the end of every year, I look back and ask myself the same thing. What the hell happened? How did I get here? And how did it happen so fast?

The everlovin' and I went to the USA. Twice. For a month each time. That is pretty cool. I saw some wonders over there, that's for sure. The everlovin' bought his dream car - it took 17 years for him to fulfill that dream. We rescued a rabbit, who has filled my mind with wonder and the overwhelming urge to continually 'Awwwwww' whenever he does... well, anything. My job has pushed, twisted, confused, befuddled and stressed me. It's been pretty fantastic mostly. I became a vegan and have endeavoured to purchase consciously. I continued my quest to ride a bike. I have spent a lot of time with my loved ones - which has not nearly been enough. On Friday we made an offer to buy a house. We'll find out if we've been successful this week. I accidently gave up eating chocolate, but continue to be caffeine fueled. I've met new people, made new friends, and failed to practice meditation. I spend a lot of time wondering what I do with my time and continue to be stunned by the amazing people that surround me.

New year resolutions aren't really my thing, my inability to follow through hampers those ideas, but as I reflect on the year that has been, I am wondering... where do we go from here?

Arriving in Natchitoches, LA

2011-10-11T09:23:00.008+08:00

Another day of driving.. it's a long way from the west to the south. We are starting to wonder if we'll see anything at all on this trip. I wanted to stop at a Whole Foods market to pick up some yummy vegan food, but we missed the exit and it didn't happen. There was no clue for where the exit was for us to get off the I-30 to get to the I-20 somewhere past Dallas, and we spent quite some time heading in the not quite most efficient direction.

Still, we stopped at a Starbucks for a delicious, super sweet and salty beverage which I managed to spill all over myself when I missed my mouth because I was too entranced in Soundgarden's stunning song 'Fell on black days' to drink properly.

A short while later the everlovin' couldn't resist the tempting billboards advertising ribs and pies, and we pulled in for a taste test. Deep fried pies were the order of the day and I ate the delicious sweet potato and pumpkin version, while the everlovin' ate two kinds of meat (pork and beef) with potato salad and coleslaw - salad which seemed once again to not have a trace of a vegetable.

With full belly's we drove on, hunting for the elusive I-20, driving through North eastern Texas backwaters, until we eventually found it, close to the Louisiana border. The weather is warmer, the air heavier and more humid, and of course, the landscape more verdant. Stopping at a visitor's centre we haul a cache of travel brochures and hot Louisiana coffee to our car. There is no shortage of things to see and do in this state and the journey is starting to feel full of promise once again.

Bypassing Shreveport, we drive south to the unpronouncable Natchitoches (which I've coined Nachocheese), the oldest town in Louisiana. We missed the exit for that town too, so turned off another exit to see if we could find a place to stay in Flora (not actually a town), Provencal (an actual town, but no accom) and Hogard, (where we waited for an hour for a car crash victim to be airlifted off the road) before arriving full circle in Natchitoches. Which was lucky because it is a gorgeous town.

This town has large, beautiful houses, a French chic feel and a lazy looking river moseying through town. Many of these stately homes (one of which starred in Steel Magnolias) are Bed & Breakfast operations, but we couldn't find one with an available room - and none of them probably would have fit our budget anyway. We ended up in a $45 motel room so white trash that even we looked too posh to be staying there.

Dinner was in the historical district at a pub, I had cajun potatoes and a zucchini dip with deep fried pasta. Deep fried pasta is actually not that great, and I will soon learn that even I can get sick of deep fried food.

Brownfield to Fort Worth TX

2011-10-10T05:26:00.005+08:00

A long drive today through the Texan desert from Brownfield to Fort Worth. Much like Western Australia, there were long miles between dusty, barely there towns, many of which still had storefronts from their wild west frontier days. It rained lightly all day and my favourite thing was hearing an old Texan saying 'You can put your boots in the oven but that doesn't make them biscuits'. Brilliant!

My one plan was to visit the Spiral Diner in Fort Worth, and ohhhhhh it did not disappoint. The cowboy burger was delicious beyond measure, I haven't had a burger that tasted so good since I went vegetarian - never mind vegan. A small portion by American standards, a small burger with a little portion of pasta on the side, it was the perfect amount. I tried, and failed, to follow it with a lemon cupcake.

Ahh.. food that is good for the soul as well as the belly will leave you satisfied like no other. It is amazing how good food makes you feel so, good and so happy - you couldn't have wiped the smile off my face!

Socorro, NM - Brownfield, TX

2011-10-10T02:40:00.004+08:00

Near Corrizizo the everlovin' saw a tarantula crossing the road! I missed it, but by the time I had dithered about whether we should turn around or not, we had driven several miles. So I left him with strict instructions to stop if he saw another. I really didn't think we would see another, and still wasn't really sure if I wanted to see one or not.

The time came though, when another monster arachnid leisurely crosssed our path. We stopped and watched this fear inducing creature as it .... relaxed? Watched us? Who knows what goes through a tarantula brin. It was fascinating, far different to any of the large Australian spiders we are used to. (LOL, 'used to' is not a phrase that is accurate for a person who is in turn fascinated and terrified of large spiders).

Three more tarantulas crossed the road in front of us within about 10 miles. It's a strange thing to see a spider so large you can see it crossing the road when you're doing 120 km/h down the highway. Other game watching activities included seeing two foxes playing in the middle of the road and 2 dead skunks.

A cashier at the service station when we fueled up in Capitan wasn't as excited about the tarantula migration as I was, but did tell me that they did come out onto the road on warm days and that she catches them to put into her garden. I forgot to ask her if she caught them by lassoo or if a group of cowboys had to herd them to the garden.

I thought there was a cowboy festival in Lincoln, but Lincoln is a tiny town living in it's violent past. Once considered to be the most violent place in America, this is where Billy the Kid and the Regulators raised havoc. Now it's a sleepy town with the orginal adobe buildings that house about 7 museums. We wondered around, mostly excited because we got to pat a random cat, and the everlovin' embarressed us terribly when he accidently knocked a giant bull skull off a gift shop wall while trying on giant western hats.

We were in Roswell, for only one purpose - the New Mexico state fair. Of course that wasn't why we were there, we were huntin' aliens. Hint: There weren't any at the International UFO centre. It was an interesting diversion, but it didn't have anything new or particularly interesting. Surely there have been some developments in UFO sightings/conspiracies in the last 50 years?

Crossing into Texas, we finally stopped in Brownfield. A quiet Saturday night was evident as most places looked closed at 8pm. Our choices outside franchised fast looked to be Hong Kong Buffet or Savannah Mexican. We chose Mexican, and as we walked to our table the everlovin' whispered 'Do you ever get that stared at feeling?' Clearly there aren't a lot of tourists in Brownfield. The young waitress looked confused and frightened when I said I didn't eat meat, and what could she recommend. When I suggested putting beans in an enchilada she said nervously 'I don't think we've ever done that'. Eventually, I got a big plate of an enchilada with beans, a taco with beans, with beans on the side. Go Beans!

Standing on a corner...Winslow AZ - Soccoro, NM

2011-10-07T21:17:00.002+08:00

A few things on the menu today, including the Petrified Forest National Park in the painted desert. The everlovin' was less than impressed at looking at a few random logs in the desert, but I found the area fascinating and strangely beautiful (I've always had a soft spot for deserts). The colours were truly stunning in the petrified wood, and although it was an overcast day and the desert canvas wasn't at it's most brilliant, there were moments of true beauty.

The Navajo National Fair was winding up in Window Rock and we could have made it for the last days, but had to face reality - it was just too far out of the way. With some regret we continued east. Stopping in chilly Socorro, the everlovin' garnered many comments regarding his uniform of shorts and thongs despite the cold weather - the woman at the hotel told him to put on something warmer every time she saw him. She told us that Socorro grows red and green chilis, so when we headed out to dinner (Mexican) I ordered my enchilada with extra green chili's. It wasn't too hot at all, but totally delicious.

Contemplations from the jet lagged

2011-10-06T16:20:00.005+08:00

I'm on the other side of the world from my home, in Kingsman, AZ to be precise. Travelling half way around the world isn't what it used to be - taking years or months of difficult and probably dangerous travel. Advances in technology have made the journey quicker and less dangerous, but despite participating in the magic of flight, there is something slightly damaging about air travel that wasn't present in most journeys of old. I can't put my finger on it, but it's something to do with the isolation from each other, from nature, from our natural rhythms.

I'm not really complaining, I often cannot believe that I live in a time where crossing the globe is possible in only 36 hours of travel, that I am wealthy enough to indulge my curiosity about foreign landscapes, exotic cultures, and the stories of people who are a lot different to me, or maybe only a little different to me, or - more likely - a combination of both. No, I'm definitely not complaining. I just can't help thinking, that like so much about our world, we've gotten very close to something wonderful, but have somehow still missed an important point.

The madness of inanity

2011-10-05T16:46:00.000+08:00

It was a day of getting ready. An evening spent driving to Perth, hanging around the airport, and then flying to Melbourne. It was catching a taxi into the city to enjoy a breakfast, fresh, early morning air and a good walk. Finding the mundane necessities for a shower in the fearful, security obsessed climate of an airport became a treasure hunt of sublime ridiculousness. As always, anything is possible with the liberal application of wheedling, flattery and an outrageous amount of cold hard cash*. Another flight, we are then herded off the plane, into the airport, and ten minutes later, back onto the same plane. At least I got to see the famous Sydney Opera house and bridge. A 14 hour flight, too tired to sleep, too sleepy to think, too restless to relax. US customs was much quicker this time and we are away, to pick up a rental car, to our hotel and to the blissful oblivion of exhaustion.

*I'm making fun of it now, but making it really difficult and expensive for people to take a shower? This is not something to be proud of.

Stress out, little freak out, deep breath and back to the start again.

2011-09-25T05:05:00.008+08:00

Friday afternoon, and the weekend was here, and I really, really, REALLY wanted an alcoholic beverage to soothe my stresses away. It has been a tough couple of weeks and hey, there is no reason I can't indulge occasionally.

Except that I don't want to.

I want to live a life where I don't need - or want - to self medicate. I enjoy my (mostly) alcohol free existence, and it goes a long way to keeping my life uncomplicated and simple.

If I could deal with stress in a positive way, I wouldn't even need to have this blog post and I could go straight to the funny stuff - but as people keep telling me, life isn't all beer and skittles.

Preventative maintenance takes the hassle out of most areas of life, but when I life gets complicated those basics tend to go straight out the window. Some tips for me to remember when I'm stressed are;

Eat well. Load up on fresh veges, fruit and protein
Exercise. Which I don't like, unless I'm walking through nature with a good conversation partner.
Write it out. Make lists, engage in some streaming consciousness, whatever.
Meditation, yoga. All of these things are on my to do list. Mental discipline would do me the world of good.
Social connections and laughter. Go out, hang out, laugh out loud.
Sleep. Do whatever you can to ensure good quality, healthful snoozing.
Nature. Spend time listening to birds, playing or snuggling with your pet, looking at the sky.
Breathe. If nothing else, just take a couple of deep breaths.

Thems the basics. The details are whatever you need them to be. Maintaining order where you can will help, ensure organisation by early preparedness and simplify, simplify, simplify. And be silly - that's important.

Shark A'cat

2011-09-20T06:13:00.007+08:00

This one has been living with us for about 18 months, a rescue that somehow became ours. Her rescue name is Emerald, but that doesn't suit her, or my inability to use a name longer than one, maybe two syllables. I used to refer to her as 'the missus'. She would wait for the everlovin' to come home and then vocally explain to him that she had been waiting all day, and what could be more important than her, and all kinds of other nagging things, and he would tell her lots of lies and they would the snuggle up together, all happy like. They've always had a special relationship.

She has grown on me too, and recently I had to face the uncomfortable fact that I have fallen in love with her. To refer to her as 'the missus' is no longer appropriate, so she has a new name. Shark A'cat. Like her namesake she is an oft misunderstood, curious creature with a propensity to use her teeth to test. She glides around the loungeroom, silent and graceful, prone to attacking the unguarded limbs of unwary couch surfers. She holds grudges and believes it's her world and we're all just living in it. She loves company and will spend hours snuggled up and we are blessed to experience this.

Sharkie relaxed

A surprised health foodie...

2011-08-13T19:33:00.004+08:00

I have a dehydrator and I'm obsessed with food. This is all about consuming my time and my time is all about consuming food.

So far I've had some flops in the kitchen. Zucchini wraps - not quite right. Falafels tasty but falling apart and universally reviled chocolate mousse. The clear winner, that even has the meatetarians clamouring for more has been these nacho chips.

It's been a weird ride this trip down veganism. I didn't eat much meat but found becoming a vegetarian more difficult than I thought. Yet, despite being a cheese loving dairy consuming fiend, I've found veganism to be extremely easy. I'm not complaining. Another surprise is my developing interest in raw food.

In the dehydrator right now are some chili lime macadamia nuts (I'm trying to emulate these beyond delicious nuts made by Samudra) and strawberrys for a strawberry jam that will go inside some raw banana crepes - kind of a cross between this recipe and this recipe.

Update: The banana crepes with cashew cream, strawberry 'jam' and berries was amazing!

I'm eating smoothies consisting of almond milk, dates, cacao, maca, mesquite, acai and a green superfood concoction. Chia pudding has become a meal of choice (made with almond milk, dates, cinnamon and coconut). Really how does one go from being a fast food junkie to eating - and enjoying - food like this? It happened slowly for me, but appears to be snowballing. Who know how long this will last and where it will end up...

a picnic with vegans

2011-07-24T15:10:00.002+08:00

I struggle with unfamiliar situations and groups of people I don't know, and today was the vegan picnic held once a month in my area and I really didn't want to go. The thing is, I'm always complaining that I don't know anyone with my interests, and I really enjoyed myself last time I went, and I really want to make some local contacts and pick up some hints, tips, tricks and ideas for my newly vegan ways.

I had no food prepared, and was talking myself out of it quite well, until a glimpse of the whiteboard reminding me of the tenements for happiness (as determined by the happiness index people I think) - connect, be active, keep learning, take notice and give. Going to this picnic fulfilled this in a few ways, by connecting with new people and local community, being active, learning about new food and health, and the sharing of food.

Of course I felt a little out of place amongst people who were high raw, who didn't even eat most of the food it's taken so long to introduce into my diet, but I also learned a lot of things, got a lot of new ideas, and tried some delicious raw and vegan food that I would otherwise never sample. I have to remember that this is a new thing for me and I'm not going to feel really comfortable amongst these (welcoming) strangers for a while.

So. I will make myself go to every vegan picnic for the rest of the year. My happiness demands it.

Chocolate love, and strangely, bread

2011-07-23T08:29:00.003+08:00

One thing I've enjoyed about both vegetarianism and especially veganism, is that I have been forced out of my eating comfort zones and have found some amazing new foods to try. It's opened up a world of new experiences for me, as its necessitated finding new ways of eating and cooking.

A work colleague has got me hooked on some seriously delicious vegan chocolate. Carmel Valley Chocolates are handmade in the Perth hills, are 37% organic and all natural ingredients. I've only tasted the mint so far, and it's been my favourite vegan chocolate. I now have 11 more varieties in my possession to try, including lime & coconunt, pistachio & mandarin, apricot, sultana, brazil nut and goji among others. One flavour I know they make, and I don't have but desperately want to try is Banana!

I'm not sold on the taste of carob yet though.

Last time I tried raw chocolate, it was disgusting to thees point that it became a food used to punish people with, so it's no surprise that I viewed the Loving Earth raw chocolates with some trepidation. It was unwarranted though, the goji berry and camu camu is rich and delicious. I also have activated almond and purple corn, and crunchy mint dark chocolate to try! I had to google camu camu and purple corn to find out what they were though. This company ticks so many of my ethical boxes as it is raw, fair trade, delicious and I love the simple cardboard packaging.

Bread came under the glare of the magnifying glass today, and I purchased some of Bodhi's Bakehouse bread. Made in Perth, this company appears to have a strong focus on health and quality. It was tasty bread, and filled me up nicely - it's my new bread of choice.

the honeymoon period of a new vegan.

2011-07-20T18:30:00.005+08:00

I didn't really plan on going 100% vegan, I was aiming for 80% and failing miserably. In fact, I had realised that I was never going to be vegan and was ok with that. Then, we visited a few animal rescue places in the USA and found myself disgusted with humanity's treatment of ... well... everything.

I came back home, set a date for a week later, and on that day became a total vegan. It's been surprisingly easy, I haven't craved anything that I used to love and THAT has been a surprise beyond measure. Of course, it's early days and it may change in the future.

Of course, the other benefit of eating cruelty free is that my junk food is so much better for me. Potato chips with numbers for ingredients have been replaced potato chips with an ingredient list entirely consisting of potatoes, oil and salt. My chocolate tends towards organic with superfood rather than sugary fillings and is downright expensive. Tofu is the snack of choice. My one rule is; be prepared and don't get too hungry.

erm, random braindump.

2011-07-13T18:55:00.004+08:00

So I've been away. Doing stuff. Nothing too exciting.

OK. I WAS TRAVELING AROUND THE USA IN A VAN LIKE A HIPPY, STOP HASSLING ME.

It was wonderful. The scenery was superb, the national parks spectacular, the people polite and friendly. I was surprised at the general lack of crazy - TV had greatly misinformed me about the American populace. Or at least some of them. Who'da thunk it?

Also, it is like half a world away from Australia, and it takes soooo long to get there. Like 30 hours each way, it took for-evah *rolls eyes*

Yeah, I don't know why I wrote that last sentance as if I'm a spoiled teenager, either. But remind me to tell you sometime about my first month in the US of A. (Hopefully there will be a second one at some point - I'd love to see the south and hear some swampy, sexy blues music).

I also became a fully fledged vegan. Cold tofurkey. No animal products. Not ever. Not for any reason. Cruelty free food rolls onto my tongue and vegan puns roll just as easily off it. My body has adjusted quickly, but my brain is still catching up to this change. Be patient but I have no idea if things will return to what I've been referring to as 'normal'.

This blog post was meant to be about how I need to reread Cradle to Cradle. Because the everlovin' and I are a little lax on the things that matter - like, for instance, replacing burnt out light globes, and then somehow, I find myself hanging washing on the clothes horse with a miners head lamp strapped to my forehead just so I can see what I am doing in the dark, and it just gets me to thinking... that this is the kind of strategic use of resources that was mentioned in Cradle to Cradle and I really should reread that book.

I don't even know myself anymore...

2011-04-26T16:52:00.008+08:00

How does a person who only started learning how to ride about a month ago, get to mountain biking? Mountain biking in the rain no less?

It is so beautiful down in pemberton but who can notice the view when going up the mountains is so painful and going downhill at speed so terrifying? The everlovin' has nicknamed me 'mad dog' but it's a tongue in cheek jab at my overly cautious attitude to riding up/down/over/close to or around anything.

I walk my bike up the mountain and the ride the brakes down (they'll need to be replaced after this little adventure). I only crapped myself a lot and have learned that a berm won't necessarily stop you from going bush, jumps can be fun when rolled up and over, tree roots are tricky, rocks are not to be trusted and when you're sweating that much, you won't even notice the rain. Despite all that it was fun, I didn't die (yet) and I will probably do it again.

This is how a professional does what I did today.

Pemberton MTB Park Cool Runnings Green Trail on pinkbike.com

Walk. Ride. Swim in own sweat.

2011-04-16T09:38:00.002+08:00

That's an unfit person's triathalon baby!

Limits bring freedom.

2011-04-14T06:24:00.003+08:00

'Where is the joy?'

'You've got to treat yourself'

These are things people tell me time and time again whenever I make some change to my life. I find myself thinking - and sometimes saying - those tropes at well, and I have to stop myself and think 'WTF?' When did this become true?'. And of course, it's not true. Or maybe it is, but quite often it's not.

Advertising and the cult of consumerism has done it's work so well - and also convinced us that we are somehow immune to it - that it's part of the daily lexicon that to 'deprive' yourself of something, no matter the reason, is reason enough to not go without.

Freedom is often thought of as having no limits, but it's also true that limits bring freedom. Some examples of self imposed limits that ensure freedoms that I otherwise wouldn't have, include;

Frugality. A budget surplus is essential to creating a measure of financial freedom. People laugh at my frugal ways, but fail to recognise that that is the reason we can travel overseas so much. We're not given money, we don't have fairy godmothers or three magical wishes. We choose to miss out on many things so we can have something that it is more important to us.

Choosing to go without meat limits where and what I can eat, but it also frees my consience from worrying about participating in systems that are at odds with my values.

I can be indecisive when given too many choices - so purposely limiting my choices makes me feel happier that I've made the best choice.

Old person fall. Achieved. Removed from to do list.

2011-03-31T17:58:00.005+08:00

I was dreading the ride this morning. It's totally hard work for an unfit person like myself. Even nearly running some early morning walkers over didn't cheer me up. I could have rung the bell, instead of issuing my battle cry of 'Watch out! i'm not too steady on this thing' but I'm not co ordinated to do that yet.

I was totally showing off, executing a perfect takeoff and cruising down the curb like I was totally at home in the saddle, when I notice my shoelace wrapped around the peddle. Uh-oh. I slowed to an almost stop before executing a slow speed fall into a drain. The shoelace that I am constantly complaining about never styaing tied right, was now tied into a spectacular kind of knot. At least there was someone there to laugh at me.

I'm glad to have gotten my first fall out of the way. Friends have been concerned that I was taking up this new hobby for healthful reasons. but I'm certain that there is a fair amount of evidence that this is more likely to be detrimental to my health.

i have a bike. i am unsteady. i wish i'd bought the more expensive helmet.

2011-03-29T07:12:00.003+08:00

After months of unsuccessfully searching for a used push bike, I buy one. It's cheap. Its' crappy. The everlovin' is skeptical that I will even ride it - exercise does not come easily or naturally to me. While looking at this bike, he says 'It doesn't even have any gears'.
'So', I reply. 'I don't know how to use them anyway'.

It does seem late in life to be learning how to ride a bike, but riding, rather than driving around town has been an aspiration of mine for a while.

I see all the bike riders looking healthy and carefree and it makes me think, 'I want me some of that'. Unfortunately, riding a bike is nothing like it looks. It's hard work, I am out of breathe, and I have to walk the bike uphill because I don't have enough power to keep it upright. I'm unsteady and I'm adding an old person fall to my to do list.

Last night I sorted out seat and handle bar heights. Today I ride to Cheery's in the dark. I have to walk 2 of the steeper blocks. My bum hurts, my thighs burn. I am tremendously unfit but I am also stubborn to the point of ridiculousness. I will get get better. Cheery and I walk our 5kms and then I ride home. It takes 5 minutes to drive compared with 11 minutes to ride and only 2 - maybe 3 - hours of unconsciousness to recover. Bike riding is the way of my future.

technological spelunking

2011-03-14T04:59:00.003+08:00

Yes folks, I'm leaving the heady world of global connectivity to go and spend 12 days in the technological equivalent of a cave - rural Australia! I'm anticipating that living sans mobile and interwebz like it's 1989 will be quite a challenge as they are my preferred boredom slayage activities.

Nevertheless, I will no doubt read a lot and have old fashioned style face to face conversations and maybe even do some study!

Wish me luck!

a wedding and a musing.

2011-03-13T15:45:00.005+08:00

I went to the wedding of one of the world's most wonderful people yesterday, I felt blessed to be there to show support to this loving force of nature on such an important day. The sky was blue, the beach pristine, the bride and groom deliriously happy and emotional, the fairy lights twinkled, the speeches were funny, the alcohol plentiful and the cake delicious. A perfect day to celebrate love.

It is so important to share the big milestones as well as the everyday minutae of the lives of our friends. It's these connections that keep us growing together, to continue and strengthen the bonds of friendship. It's different for every friendship as well. This friend and I had lost contact for many years, and yet when we get together, it's like no time has passed at all. Other friendships need more regular care and maintenance to achieve the same level of connectivity and intimacy.

The 'cocktail' dress code for the had me a little concerned. I'm a fan of function and comfort rather than frivolous and fancy. Having no dress or heels I bought both, attempted to artful apply makeup (outcome - picasso) and poke earrings through piercings long unused. I confess to grumbling a little at the inconvenience.

Social conformity pressures me into wanting to fit in, to show the appropriate respect to the day through my adornments. In some ways I agree that there must be some indicators acknowledging the magnitude of the celebration, but how elaobrate must they be? and why? I still maintain that the most important aspect is my attendance. A dress is no more beautiful than pants, heels more uncomfortable than flats. Make up may make my eyes look bluer but the sparkle that makes them dance can only come from within and is there with or without artificial help. Jewellery baffles me a little. I love shiny, sparkley, beautiful things, but just can't make the leap that wearing it will have any effect on me.

I'm glad I went to the effort that I did, and my ego enjoyed the compliments that came my way, but I can see me shuffling off the need to conform to these social expectations in the future.

Bring me argument or agreement but never apathy!

2011-03-01T20:46:00.002+08:00

I love a good conversation. I love the mental and verbal wrangling of an unofficial debate, the excitement and energy of hearing a good idea or a new idea for the first time, of putting ideas and concepts together. I love to confound my conversation partner and to be confounded by them in turn. I love the insight and frustration that come from making my mind scramble for retorts and rebuttles. I love it when people agree with me, I love it when people make an effort to engage in the conversation - not to be right or wrong - but for the sheer joy participating in a lively meeting of minds. I love it when people work hard to understand, even when they don't agree. I love it all.

Seniors night out

2011-02-25T06:02:00.005+08:00

The everlovin' and I went out to the pub to catch our favourite local band = the fantastic Novocaines.

'I think we're getting old' the everlovin' says
'What makes you say that' I ask

'You're wearing earplugs, I'm drinking mid strength and everyone else here looks like they are 12 years old'.

He had a point. It probably didn't help that I kept pointing out that we were only leaving the house at the same time I usually go to bed.

I also really enjoyed support bands Fat Jackal and The Tumblers.

It was a fantastic night out for $18.50. Listening to some great tunes, playing hooky on a school night with the everlovin' and having some fun!

Life surprised me. Again.

2011-02-24T18:29:00.005+08:00

One of my friends may have disappeared from my life today. Maybe forever. It had nothing to do with me, but unforseen circumsances has led to a possible loss of contact. I am kinda crapping myself. A friend for only six months, this person has the potential to be one of my greatest friends. The first person in a very long time who shares my values, my goals and many aspects about my view of the world. AND they like to talk about it as much as I do. This, my friends, is a very rare person.

This person has enriched my life by;

Acting kindly
Being extraordinarily generous
Debating with me and challenging my opinions and allowing me to challenge theirs.
Allowing me to ask questions and always giving a thoughtful and considered reply no matter how personal or strange.
Having outrageously high standards and setting an amazing example, particularly in regard to personal finance, approach to health, performance of tasks with patience and grace.
Encouraging me to be more like the person I would like to be.
Being as flawed and as beautiful and as wonderful as people can be.

I try to be a person who 'has their affairs in order'. I try to live my life in a way that will minimise my regrets. If I die tomorrow, my friends will probably know how much and why I love them. I try to always be kind (mixed success with that).. but I was surprised to realise that this was something I had been quite complacent about - there is always a missed spot isn't there? *calls out with hand raised* more mindfullness needed over here please!

Update: Thankfully all worked out well for me. Friend found, friend will not escape so easily next time!

The Badpiper

2011-02-20T13:49:00.005+08:00

Once again I ventured into the sunshine and came away bruised and battered. The purpose of this adventure was to go to the Boyup Brook Country Music Festival. I'm no fan of the country and/or the western, Bundaberg rum, utes or bogans, but the everlovin' insisted we go to see The Badpiper. We stumbled upon the Badpiper busking in Perth many years ago, and while his punk look and rocking pipes were attention grabbing, I'll always remember what he wasn't wearing under his kilt.

I was surprised he was playing at a country festival, and even more surprised at how popular he was among the mostly middle aged rural folk he was playing to. A witty and entertaining showman, hilarity ensued when his set was interrupted by a traditional pipe band (Maybe this is a country music festival standard, but I haven't been to any others and found it to be absolutely hilarious)

An absolute highlight of his set was guest Deb 'Spoons' Perry. Yes, that's right a surreal jam session between a punk bagpiper and an old lady playing the spoons! Fantastic!!

The rule of one. Or maybe two.

2011-02-20T10:06:00.003+08:00

When it's possible to make things simpler, I'm all for it. Life is complicated enough - interacting with the complicated, multifaceted people with their wealth of opposing experiences, desires and actions is often difficult. Juggling our individual eternal quests for peace, joy and meaning while dancing around the obstacles strewn about by the unanswerable questions and the unavoidable issues of love and death is downright hard.

Where was I? Oh yes, sweet, subtle simplification.

It's the small things that can make our life easier The trick is to make sure that only the big things are complicating, but not the small, inane details that initially mean very little in the scheme of things but when handled badly can very quickly ruin your mood and your day and lead to bigger mistakes and more complicating problems. To help this happen I'm implementing The Rule of One. Or Maybe Two.

The frustration and anger that can arise over some small, easily avoidable difficulty that takes my finite time, patience and goodwill is unhelpful at best and permanently damaging at worst. I get ridiculously frustrated when things are misplaced, I get overwhelmed by mess and hate cleaning. The Rule of One. Or Maybe Two helps in this regard by limiting the number of items that create mess, and forces me to create habits and systems that reinforce and support the rule.

For example, I have one lunchbox that fits everything that I need for the day. When one container is all I need, I don't need a myriad of containers of various sizes and shapes that need to be chased after, washed and stored but I do need to get into the habit of rinsing the container every day. It means making one large, delicious salad that lasts me in lunches all week, instead of thinking of and preparing lunch each day. When the kitchen is clean, I'm more likely to want to make something healthful rather than eat out or prepare two minute noodles in a cup because I don't want to face the mess. These bad decisions made often, will likely lead to poorer health in the future - and if you don't have health you don't have anything.

The rule doesn't just apply to the material you can control but also to the small immaterial matters that we can't control, and by this I'm talking about our reactions to what happens in our life. Trying to take the high road, seeing the funny side or just letting go when you are angry, hurt, believe you are right or are totally wrong is always hard. Realising that I don't have to bite back or even care when someone is frustrating or malicious, realising I don't have to be right or that I don't have to take on other people's problems frees me up to cope much better with the big problems when they arise. One friend described my style as DILLIGAF (do I look like I give a fuck), which I thought was pretty cool, cause I'm happy to roll with the lazy pushes and shoves of the day - I try not to waste my energy on things I cannot control or effect - but I'm always ready to fight for the big things that DO matter to me.

The second part of the rule exists because it is sometimes practical to have a spare of any item. No system is perfect, and it is pointless to have so little that it makes life unbearably hard. In regards to the material, having two potato peelers may be superfluous, but having two sets of sheets is a good idea when winter makes drying a several day process. For the immaterial, having a spare argument is always handy, while spending an extra moment to try and figure out what people really want or what they are trying to say is really handy.

It's a work in progress, my implementation of this rule, but I am already reaping it's benefits.

How rich are you?

2011-02-19T08:04:00.000+08:00

Global Rich List

A yearning for freedom: gaining insight

2011-02-18T18:53:00.005+08:00

I dreamed I was being chased by a bear, and Cheery tells me this can mean introspection. While introspection chased me in my dreams, in my waking hours I'm actually chasing introspection. Thoughts about my restlessness plague me, and while I think about all the things that will give me freedom, a common theme occurs. They all involve discipline - financial freedom is about fiscal discipline, my studies are about mental discipline. There seem to be so many long term, ongoing responsibilities that leave me feeling constrained and trapped in the here and now.

Thoughts of the days where I could drink and dance without a care in the world arise and I realise that this is the kind of freedom that I seek. I crave the short term bliss that comes with abandoning self control, of being free of my responsible lifestyle, free of the worries, and the thoughts of what tomorrow will bring.

This realisation doesn't really help me, I won't be sacrificing the long term for the short term anytime soon. There are other ways to experience this kind of freedom and that is to indulge my creative side, my playful side, to explore and to lose control in other ways through laughter, whimsy and indulging my imagination. How I can incorporate these into the everyday I'm not entirely sure, but at least now I have somewhere to start.

A yearning for freedom

2011-02-17T18:50:00.003+08:00

I have a yearning for freedom. While it's always with me, it appears periodically and demands attention, distracting me and trying to unsettle me, trying to shake me out of ... something. In the midst of this feeling for the past few days, I am pondering it, wondering what exactly it is I need freedom from. Is it my comfortable yet unremarkable existence? I know for sure that I have gotten lost along the way, that the path I am on right now isn't altogether satisfying, but I can't seem to make what is and what should be intersect.

The beautiful and wonderful Majesstic asked how I could be sad with my awesome life? And then - (how can I not love her?) went on to list the many things that make my life extraordinary. While the sense of perspective was welcome - so, so welcome - this restlessness won't be budged by warm and soothing words - it demands anger, fire, growth and a busting out of the mundane.

I have a feeling that I will ride it out, as I have so many times before, because I still don't know where to point this energy. Until the way is clear, I'll likely be lazing about in the comfort of limbo.

The generosity of others AKA Fig Friday!

2011-02-11T18:25:00.004+08:00

I'm not sure how it is that I am surrounded by such wonderful people, but I'm not complaining! Last Friday I left work with a bag of fresh grown tomatoes and a snack bar unique to Slovakia to try. Before today, I had never even seen a ripe fig before, and was given bags of fresh figs by two different people.

Wow, how has it come to be that I have lived all these years without figs in my life - and more importantly - my taste buds and stomach? They are ridiculously delicious and these bags of yummy are not going to last the weekend in this house!

I wish I had something to share with the people who share so much with me. Think, brain, think! There must way I can reciprocate.

Love is complicated and can be expressed in so many ways.

2011-02-10T19:18:00.004+08:00

I believe that nothing says 'I love you' quite like a poke in the nose with surgical steel.

Yup, that's right, for Valentines day I organised for the everlovin' to get his septum pierced.

And for the record, he didn't cry - his eyes watered uncontrollably.

Hervor has a happy

2011-02-10T18:33:00.004+08:00

Hello and welcome new readers, I'm glad you have joined me. Please come in, have a seat and get comfortable. Feel free to poke around or contribute to my musings, rants and wails. I was a bit worried that you might start demanding quality content or regular postings, but then realised that my readership numbers have sky rocketed (relatively speaking) in direct correlation to increasingly sparodic posting. So really, all is well and will continue as usual.

Howling Hervor x

This too will pass..

2011-02-10T08:07:00.003+08:00

'This too will pass' has become my mantra of sorts. It wasn't deliberate, I don't think I was looking for a mantra, but somehow it's become something I tell myself for both the good feelings and the not so good feelings.

It started as a somewhat unconscious way to remind myself, when I was feeling down or stressed or sick that I wouldn't always feel this way, even though at these times the bad feelings can make it seem almost impossible to imagine feeling good again. Whatever I am feeling will pass, it always has and always will. Impermanence is a concept that can be hard to remember let alone acknowledge and implement into your life - particularly if, like me, you're not great with change.

When I feel good and I'm laughing with friends or having a great conversation, I find myself telling myself that 'this too will pass', and I savour the feeling of having a full heart and happiness bubbling up from within. It makes me more mindful of the fleeting moments and the small but intense joys that pepper my day. Somehow it also encourages me to be more kind, more thoughtful, to take open hearted risks because I feel I have less to lose, less time to be understood, and mostly because I hate nothing more than a missed opportunity!

A big day out indeed

2011-02-07T16:47:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was the Big Day Out that nearly didn't happen for us. Since the tickets had been posted months ago, and we've moved and my point is that we lost them. Our house isn't really the type of place you can lose stuff easily, so when the tickets weren't in one of the usual places, panic set in. Panic turned to freak out at the thought of wasting the $300 odd dollars associated with losing non replaceable tickets.

Of course, as the post title indicates, the tickets were found - in a stroke of genius I looked under the chest of drawers containing our paperwork and there they were, all fluffy and dusty and while they had lost some of their shine I was positively radiant at the find!

We moseyed on up to Perth just in time for the everlovin' to catch one of his favourite bands - Airbourne. While he rocked out, Majesstic and I sat on a step and caught up on the minutae of our lives and tried to ignore Airbourne's late 80's cock rocking sounds. Catching Washington next was a veritable culture shock! I found Bliss n Eso - one of my favourite artists - a little disappointing live, not that they didn't do a great job, but I would have liked to have heard them play more songs rather than beatboxing and getting the crowd to scream.

Today was a rare break from the usual blistering temperatures but the UV was stinging. Sunburned bodies were everywhere and it felt like a losing battle applying and reapplying sunscreen. Taking some time out to sit in some shade and have a cold drink was a definite must, and we wondered off to explore the grounds before catching John Butler. From there a decision had to be made, do we go off and watch Wolfmother, as the everlovin' and Majesstic wanted to do, or stay for Iggy and the Stooges and ensure we had a good view of headliners Rammstein and Tool? We chose to stay and were rewarded by Iggy's impressive and hilarious on stage antics AND excellent views of the next acts.

Rammstein. Wow. Best. Live show. Ever.

From the moment Rammstein unleashed a single, solitary beat that vibrated through the body, causing the crowd to collectively gasp, we knew this was going to be spectacular. And it was. There was theatre, pyrotechnics, fireworks, flame throwers and a sky filled with paper confetti. It was at once an audio assault on the body and a visual feast. If I had not found the tickets, and had had to pay for them all over again, this one hour would have made it all worthwhile. It was that incredible. Recommend, recommend, recommend. Just make sure you seek treatment for shock afterwards!

How was Tool ever going to top that act? They weren't. They were Tool and they were magnificent but totally overshadowed. We didn't stay for the entire set, it was a long day and we are old with no stamina.

Viva la Big Day Out!

dinner of the culinary giants!

2011-02-05T05:01:00.003+08:00

We're in frugal mode lately - or trying to be - in order to make our big Year of Ridiculously Expensive Purchases AKA Life of Awesome happen as efficiently as possible. So it came to be that Cheery, Curtainman and I hatched a plan to cook an amazing dinner.

We have the fantastic, cannot recommend them highly enough, Natural Temptations cookbooks and the three of us, each made two dishes. I made cashew nut loaf and Mother Theresa chickpea and vegetable curry, Curtains made beetroot and not buckwheat salad (rice was substituted for buckwheat) and an Indian rice salad, and Cheery's to die for desserts were lemon slice and sticky date pudding. The everlovin' made his own delicious fruit mocktail concoction.

It was a feast by any measure, and any dinner that has two desserts plus seconds (no one could have resisted that sticky date pudding!) is luxurious decadence. I have not laughed so hard in a very long time and we will all be eating healthy, delicious food for a week!

people and the damage we inflict

2011-02-02T07:24:00.004+08:00

Today i saw something disturbing. a kangaroo that had been hit by a car, but was still alive. It's back legs were destroyed and it was trying to crawl around. It was a horrible image that was burnt into my brain.

I didn't know what to do.. do I kill it? How? Do i use a tyre iron? I have seen that done, but it wasn't particularly efficient even in the hands of a skilled killer and I'm not good at killing stuff at the best of times and worried that it would only inflict more pain... I didn't know what to do, so I did what I so often do in these situations.... I did nothing.

It concerns me when I see/hear/learn something horrible and it stays with me, but i do nothing about it. I know that I feel better that - while i can't save the world - I can make a change in my own life to lessen the chance of this happening again.

My coworkers had no easy answers for me, so today I need to think about this incident and consider what, if anything, I can do.

Money makes my head go funny.

2011-02-01T06:33:00.003+08:00

I've wanted a certain pair of shoes for a very long time. They are expensive and difficult to find in Australia. Ideally I wanted them second hand but in the last six months I haven't even been able to find a new pair at a price I would pay.

Last night I bought a pair. Yes they are new, yes they come from the USA, yes I hurt from spending the money.

This morning I woke up to Get Rich Slowly post about conscious spending. For all my concerns about buying these shoes. I definitely wanted THOSE shoes. I know they will fit well, that they will be comfortable, that I don't have one pair of dress shoes and that these shoes will serve me well for years and years.

I'm still not comfortable with the purchase though.

issues. i have them.

2011-01-27T06:30:00.005+08:00

I have a company mandated boat trip today. Yay, you say? How sweet is it that you get to cruise a gorgeous part of the world and frolic in the sunshine on company time you say? well ye-es, and no. I have so much anxiety about this activity.

Anxiety: I'm no sun lover. Persecution by the stinging sun rays always leaves me sad, and my defences are inefficient at best.
Potential solution: Packed a hat, sunscreen and will be wearing long clothes. Have after sun reliever on hand for after.

Anxiety: I get seasick and will spend the entire trip throwing up and feeling horrible.
Potential solution: Seabands should take away the nausea

Anxiety: This is a civilian dress occasion with people I don't know and people I do know who can be very judgy. My pasty, lumpy body will be judged, as will what I cover it with.
Potential solution: dressing for comfort in good jeans, and an acceptable shirt. I will draw attention to my feet (worship me motherfuckers!) by wearing shiny silver shoes. Swimming poses a particularly difficult situation. I will be wearing so many clothes I may drown. I need to cover up as much as possible and also make sure everything stays where it should, so it's a bra, bathers, shirt and board shorts. (board shorts zip is held up by a safety pin). There isn't much a can do with my blindness inducing pale skin but only knee down will be visible. I can weather that much ridicule.

That these these shallow concerns bother me so much is an indication of how far out of my comfort zone this takes me. I feel that no matter how uncomfortable I am, I still need to maintain my usual easy going, fun loving, at home in any situation demeanour. Obviously this is a LIE. But I plan to be brave and fearless and have fun regardless. My prep will hopefully address those fears I have.

UPDATE: Seabands didn't work. I spewed and spent the second half of the trip curled up in a corner. I told my great grand manager that I got the hint, and I would work so much harder this year if only he promised never to make me go on a boat again. I'm not sure he thought that was funny.

The Dream

2011-01-22T06:27:00.003+08:00

At my sister in laws last night she mentioned how her father in law brings far too much chocolate around for their kids and they now had an impressive stockpile. After I had removed the drool from my chin, her partner gave me a massive shopping bag of chocolate. Wow. He said 'you should have just asked' and I thought well, it's not the usual thing when you rock around unannounced to someone's house and you say, 'hello, how are you? Do you have a massive stockpile of chocolate that you would like to share with me?'

BUT on reflection, it's not a bad idea, cause let's face it, most people will be bewildered and probably think I am joking, and secretly thinking 'how rude!', while others will probably look a bit embarressed and relieved and whisper confidentially 'why yes, I do have a terrible chocolate infestation at the moment and I was racking my brain looking for ways to deal with it. I'm ever so grateful for you helping me out, better take some cash as well for your trouble'.

Soo, um, do you have a massive stockpile of chocolate that you would like to share with me? Or some unruly cash that is giving you some grief?

Ranting about our racist country.

2011-01-16T06:30:00.003+08:00

I've been receiving a string of racist chain emails lately, you know the kind that say that asylum seekers, (or illegal immigrants as they are often referred to in these emails) in Australia receive a fortune in gold and a key to the country when they arrive. It's not true, and it makes me angry and sad that anyone can believe that it is. But apparently A LOT of Australians do, a lot of Australians seem to have the luxury of an insular existence and a lack of empathy. Australia is in no way the country of egalitariasm and 'a fair go' for all that the myth makers like to promote. I feel I cannot let these emails go uncontested and have started attaching this myth busting fact sheet to my reply all emails, which I first saw at Hoyden About Town.

Reproduced here for your perusal

ASYLUM SEEKER FACT SHEET AND MYTH BUSTER 2010

ASRC Fact Sheet and Myth Buster June 2010
www.asrc.org.au | educate@asrc.org.au

25 KEY FACTS TO HELP STOP THE FREEZE ON HUMAN RIGHTS FOR ASYLUM SEEKERS

MYTH 1: We no longer have children in detention centres.
FACT 1:
• The Rudd Government has broken one of its key 2007 election promises as there are still children in detention.
• As of the 21st of May 2010 there were 427 children in detention [1].

MYTH 2: We no longer have many asylum seekers in detention centres, now that there is a Federal ALP Government.
FACT 2:
• Australia has as many people in detention now as we did under the Howard Government.
• As of the 21st of May 2010 Australia had had 3,621 people in detention [2]

MYTH 3: It makes good financial sense to keep Christmas Island open to process asylum seekers.
FACT 3:
• The Rudd Government has committed to spending $973.6 million dollars on Christmas Island for the next 5 years.
• That same amount of money would fund the entire budget of the Asylum Seeker Resource Centre for the next 540 years.

MYTH 4: The Rudd Government invests an equal amount of money in caring for asylum seekers in the community, as it does to keep asylum seekers in detention.
FACT 4:
• For every $1 The Rudd Government gives the Red Cross to care for community based asylum seekers, it will spend $30.41 dollars to keep asylum seekers in detention centres over the next 4 years.
• That’s $1.441 billion dollars on detention compared to $47.4 million dollars to the Red Cross Asylum Seeker Assistance Scheme

MYTH 5: Australia is being flooded by asylum seekers coming by boat and has lost control of its borders.
FACT 5:
• In the last 34 years (from 1st January 1976 to 30th April 2010) we have had a total of 23,024 people come by boat to Australia seeking asylum. That’s an overall average of 677.1 asylum seekers a year [3].
• At this rate it would take 149 years to fill the MCG once with asylum seekers coming by boat.

MYTH 6: Australia is one of the most generous countries in the world when it comes to the number of refugees we accept into our country.
FACT 6:
• According to the UNHCR there were some 42 million forcibly displaced people worldwide at the end of 2008. This includes 15.2 million refugees, 827,000 asylum-seekers (pending cases) and 26 million internally displaced persons (IDPs) [4].
• Australia does not even make the Top 20 of industrialized countries in 2009 in the number of refugees we
receive5.
• When we look globally here is how we sit in comparison to the top refugee receiving countries in the world:

COUNTRY | NUMBER OF REFUGEES RECEIVED
……………………………………………………
Australia …. …. …. 13,750
Pakistan …. …. …. 1,800,000
Syria …. …. …. 1,100,000
Iran …. …. …. 980,000
Jordan …. …. …. 500,000
Chad …. …. …. 330,000
Tanzania …. …. …. 322,000
Kenya …. …. …. 320,000

MYTH 7: The freezing of the processing of Afghan and Sri Lankan asylum seeker cases is lawful.
FACT 7:
• The suspension policy involves discrimination on the basis of country of origin and nationality. Accordingly, the policy infringes the principle of non – discrimination contained in Article 3 of the Refugee Convention, as well as other instruments such as Article 26 of the ICCPR and Article 2 of the International Convention on the Elimination of all forms of Racial Discrimination.
• Furthermore, the prolonged detention of persons for the duration of the suspension of processing of their refugee claims amounts to arbitrary detention in contravention of Article 9 (1) of the ICCPR.

MYTH 8: Asylum Seekers in the community receive four times the income from Centrelink that Australian Aged Pensioners do.
FACT 8:
• No asylum seekers are eligible for Centrelink payments of any kind [6]
• A small percentage of asylum seekers get access to the Red Cross Asylum Seeker Assistance Scheme for a limited period of time. This scheme provides for an income that is 89% of what a person would get if receiving Newstart Allowance.
• Permanent refugees are eligible to receive Centrelink but just at the same rate as an Australian permanent resident.

MYTH 9: The majority of asylum seekers come by boat to Australia.
FACT 9:
• Only 30% of all asylum seekers come to Australia by boat, the rest come by plane [7].

MYTH 10: Australia takes its fair share of the world refugees and displaced people.
FACT 10:
• We receive each year just 0.03% of the World’s refugees and displaced people. That is 13,740 of the 42 million refugees and displaced people in the world.

MYTH 11: Australia already takes too many refugees.
FACT 11:
• Australia provides just 13,750 places each year in total for refugee and humanitarian entrants to Australia. This figure includes all people who we receive onshore and offshore and by boat [8].
• Refugee and humanitarian entrants make up just 6.6% of the places in our overall permanent immigration program in 2010. The lowest it’s been since 1975 [9].

MYTH 12: Asylum Seekers are placing Australia at risk of an unsustainable population boom.
FACT 12:
• In 2009 the Department of Immigration granted 4,338,227 permanent and temporary visas, refugees and humanitarian entrants made up just 0.31% of all visas granted for the year [10].

MYTH 13: Australia is being flooded by asylum seekers compared to other Western Countries.
FACT 13:
• In 2009, Australia received 6170 asylum applications, just 1.6% of the 377,160 applications received across 44 industrialized nations [11].

MYTH 14: We have more people seeking asylum by boat due to Rudd being soft on asylum seekers.
FACT 14:
• Most number of asylum seekers to come by boat in a calendar year to Australia [12]

YEAR | NUMBER OF PEOPLE | GOVERNMENT
……………………………………………………
2001 …. …. …. 5,516 …. …. …. Howard
1999 …. …. …. 3,721 …. …. …. Howard
2000 …. …. …. 2,939 …. …. …. Howard
2009 …. …. …. 2,750 …. …. …. Rudd

MYTH 15: Australia gets more asylum seekers than other Western Countries.
FACT 15:
• There were 20 industrialized countries who had more asylum seekers than Australia based on a per capita basis in 200913.
• Countries that received more asylum seekers than Australia in 2009 included: England (29,800), Germany (27,600), Norway (17,230) Belgium (17,190), Greece (15,930), Austria (15,830), Netherlands (14,910), Switzerland (14,490), Poland (10,590) and Turkey (7,830).

MYTH 16: Australia is experiencing an unprecedented increase in the number of people seeking asylum by boat.
FACT 16:
• 22 Industrialized countries had a bigger % increase in people seeking asylum than Australia during the same period.
• In comparison this is what other countries for example have experienced in 2009 in the same period:

Country | % increase 2009 cf 2007 | % increase 2009 cf 2008
……………………………………………………
Australia …. …. …. 28% …. …. …. 27%
Finland …. …. …. 344% …. …. …. 160%
Norway …. …. …. 234% …. …. …. 51%
Poland …. …. …. 152% …. …. …. 5%
U.K ….. …. …. …. 39% …. …. …. 21%
Austria …. …. …. 32% …. …. …. 41%
Canada …. …. …. 65% …. …. …. 11%
Austria …. …. …. 32% …. …. …. 41%
Germany …. …. …. 46% …. …. …. 2%
Netherlands …. …. 134% …. …. …. 23%
Malta …. …. …. 203% …. …. …. 9%

MYTH 17: Australia is being swamped by Refugees from Afghanistan.
FACT 17:
• Australia had only 0.03% of the worlds Afghan refugees (940 people out of 2.8 million) in 2009
• Even though there are 2.8 million Afghan refugees globally across 69 asylum countries worldwide, 96% of them were located in Pakistan and the Islamic Republic of Iran alone

MYTH 18: The Rudd Government has ended the Pacific Solution that the Howard Government created.
FACT 18:
• Whilst the Rudd Government closed Nauru and Manus Island, over 4,000 islands remain excised from Australia’s migration zone, allowing the Australian Government to avoid its international obligations to asylum seekers who arrive on our shores.

MYTH 19: There is no difference between the ALP and the Liberal Party when it comes to their policies on refugees.
FACT 19:
• Whilst both the ALP and Liberal Party have harsh and unjust policies towards asylum seekers, the Liberal Party has the harsher and inhumane policy as it has as part of its refugee policy these stand alone policies:
(a) Turn back boats
(b) Re – introduce Temporary Protection Visas and the 45 day rule
(c) Process all families and children on Christmas Island that arrive by boat without exception

MYTH 20: We have a more generous refugee and humanitarian program under the Rudd Government than we did under the Howard Government.
FACT 20:
• We take less people as refugees under the Rudd Government than we did under Howard as a percentage of our overall immigration intake. Under the Howard Government refugees made up 7.6% (13,104 visas) of the total immigration program. Under the Rudd Government refugees are 6.6% (13,750 visas) of the total migration program. To put Labor’s 6.6%, or 13,750 people, quota in context, it is half the proportionate rate the Howard Government set in 2000-01 – 14.6% (13,733).
• The first two years of the Rudd Government has resulted in the refugee share being reduced to 7.3% (13,500) in 2008-09, before rising slightly to 7.5% (13,750) and now dipping again to 6.6% of the overall program.
• The Rudd Government’s humanitarian quota is less than half the size in real terms of the benchmark Paul Keating set in his last year in office – 6.6% in 2010-11, compared with 15.3% in 1995-96.

MYTH 21: Asylum seekers are illegal immigrants
FACT 21:
There is no such thing as an illegal asylum seeker. Australia is a signatory to the Refugee Convention of 1951 which means that a person is able to seek asylum in Australia by boat or plane, with documents or undocumented. They are breaking no laws under the Refugee Convention of 1951

MYTH 22: Asylum seekers don’t need to come all the way to Australia, they could stop in another country along the way.
Fact 22:
• There is no queue or processing system for asylum seekers to come from Afghanistan or Iraq.
• There is no requirement under the Refugee Convention for a person to seek refuge in their first country of arrival.
• For asylum seekers who make it to Indonesia from the Middle East, the available countries who are signatories to the Refugee Convention and accept refugees is very limited. Indonesia is not a signatory. From Indonesia to Australia only Thailand and Cambodia are signatories.

MYTH 23: We are seeing more people coming by boat because of a softening of our border protection policy
Fact: 23
• Annual figures released 16th of June 2014 [10] by the UN refugee agency show that some 43.3 million people were forcibly displaced worldwide at the end of 2009, the highest number of people uprooted by conflict and persecution since the mid-1990s.

Myth 24: Asylum Seekers who come by boat from Indonesia just don’t want to wait their turn in the queue
Fact 24:
• The Australian Government refuses to accept any asylum seekers assessed as refugees by the UNHCR who have arrived after 2007 in Indonesia.
• In the last 3 years the Australian Government has settled each year an average of just 52 refugees from Indonesia in Australia.
• The waiting period in the ‘queue’ for a refugee in Indonesia (who is not a signatory to the Refugee Convention) seeking settlement in Australia is on average 37 years.

MYTH 25: People seek asylum in Australia to get access to government support and live the good life here. Asylum seekers who can afford to come by boat are economic migrants.
FACT 25:
• Asylum Seekers do not leave their country due to choice. People seek asylum because they fear for their safety and life in their home country. They leave by whatever means they can.
• No asylum seekers have access to: Centrelink, a Health Care Card, Public Housing, Settlement Services, English Programs, Job Services Australia, Traineeships or Tertiary Education. Many also have no right to even work or a Medicare Card.

Refs:
1. http://www.immi.gov.au/managing-australias-borders/detention/_pdf/immigration-detention-statistics-20100521.pdf
2. http://www.immi.gov.au/managing-australias-borders/detention/_pdf/immigration-detention-statistics-20100521.pdf
3. http://www.aph.gov.au/house/committee/mig/detention/subs.htm
4. UNHCR (2008) Global Trends, http://www.unhcr.org/4a375c426.html
5. http://www.immi.gov.au/managing-australias-borders/detention/_pdf/immigration-detention-statistics-20100521.pdf
6. http://www.immi.gov.au/media/letters/letters09/
7. http://www.aph.gov.au/house/committee/mig/detention/subs.htm
8. DIAC Annual Report 2008 – 2009, www.immi.gov.au, Federal Budget 2010
9. http://www.immi.gov.au/managing-australias-borders/detention/_pdf/immigration-detention-statistics-20100521.pdf
10. DIAC Annual Report 2008 – 2009, www.immi.gov.au
11. UNCHR (2009) ‘Asylum Levels and Trends in Industrialized Countries 2009’
12. http://www.aph.gov.au/house/committee/mig/detention/subs.htm
13. UNCHR (2009) ‘Asylum Levels and Trends in Industrialized Countries 2009’
14. http://www.immi.gov.au/managing-australias-borders/detention/_pdf/immigration-detention-statistics-20100521.pdf

2011-01-13T19:01:00.004+08:00

I laughed so hard at this, that the everlovin' has suggested that I shouldn't look at it until I can calm down. Just ridiculous, I mean HILARIOUS!

UPDATE: I think I want an iphone just for the inappropriate and side splittingly funny autocorrect.

another flaying by sunshine

2011-01-06T18:32:00.004+08:00

So I'm coming to the end of my extreme vomiting extravaganza fun and am able to enjoy a couple of days catching up with two of my oldest friends (Awe-sum!!) but today on the way home, i'm feeling not good again. I couldn't figure out why until I noticed that I must have somehow wandered into some stray sunlight and accidently got roasted alive.

Seriously, how can i be a happy hippy when my nemesis, the Sun, and all his gangsta nature buddies go so far out of their way to destroy me? Is the right path all wrong for me? Life did seem to be all beer and skittles when it was all alcohol and brightly coloured, sugary snacks.

UPDATE: Just when the blog is about to be renamed Whinging and Whining I remember that I have an awesome skill - Reiki; good for what ails ya. For all my love of reiki, I am very bad at participating in self administration, but I gave it a shot and am feeling a little better for it.

in sickness and in books

2011-01-04T09:30:00.003+08:00

Blurgh, I've been sick the last few days. Random up chuck excitement. Yay. I'm blaming the sudden change in diet - my body does not react well to healthy food, too much of it and it starts fighting back.

The good news is that soy milk is much easier to throw up than the cow kind, and I've been reading up a storm. My beloved (and neglected) Bebo and I have read the two Robin Hobb Liveship Chronicles books and last night I began Joe Hill's Horns. I have enjoyed all of Hobb's Liveship books, but found myself squirming a little bit at the slut shaming and the use of the women as the moral gate keepers in the novels. I get that the conditions were incredibly harsh for all the characters, but no where was the expectation for the men to step up to the plate (unless they were already so inclined). Ahh, feminism you're invading my imagination these days.

While the worst of my illness has passed, and my tummy now wants food, I'm left with the worry of what to feed it that won't upset it's already delicate state. Comforting cardboard food is calling me!

New Year's resolutions!

2010-12-31T06:27:00.003+08:00

Even though I never, ever, ever follow through with my new year's resolutions, it doesn't stop me from making them. I find that I do what I do, and no amount of resolving will change a thing. But like I said, it doesn't stop me from making the resolutions anyway.

This year's resolutions are ... (drumroll please)

1. To carry on as I am.

Shouldn't be too hard right? Maybe. I have made a lot of changes in the past year, big ones, so my plan is to continue on with veganism, walking, saving money and staying away from the fizzy drinks I accidently gave up.

2. Read more.

I love to read but haven't been putting in the novels that I should have. Recently I read Bill Bryson's Mother Tongue and am reading the first book in Robin Hobb's Rain Wild Chronicles trilogy, but that is pitiful few books in recent times. A book a week sounds like a reasonable number!

Two vegans lunching

2010-12-29T16:17:00.004+08:00

Wow, my amazing friend Bear Breakface and I went for vegan lunch (oh yeah, I'm vegan now - eeep!) and I'm walking on clouds! We went to the wonderful Samudra to try raw food and my body is buzzing from the nutrient injection. The nachos were ridiculously tasty, and my new mission is to learn to uncook.

Tis the season to be snoozy...

2010-12-28T15:59:00.003+08:00

But wait, first it was the season to buy me chocolate. I gave not a single gift this year, but my mean and ungenerous nature didn't preclude me from regally accepting all manner of gifts. Chocolate from men I work with (I adore the men I work with, how can I not?), pyjamas, chocolate and a vegan potato chip selection from the everlovin' (also adorable) and Cap'n Jack Sparrow pyjamas from my Other Mother. I've always wanted to take Johnny Depp to bed, I hope it's as good as I've imagined!!

I've been snoozing up a storm as well, but in part I'm blaming the getting up early. Let me explain. The end of the year is a great time to sit back and reflect on the year that has been. In my case, it's a time to wonder 'how in the hell did that happen'. Like many peoples, I often sit around at the end of the year and plan to make a change, improve my lot, etc, etc. and to be honest, these plans never, ever, ever come to fruition... but plenty of other weird shit does.

This year I became a vegetarian, sold my house and moved to a little redneck town to live near - not on - the five acres of freedom we bought somewhat unexpectedly. Even more inexplicably, I took up exercising. Sure, lots of people exercise, but I've always been the type to lie down until any urges to move unnecessarily have passed. This time last year I wouldn't have giggled at the idea that in 12 months I would set my alarm for 3.30 am Christmas morning to go for an extended walk - I would have cried with laughter at the mere notion. But that's what's happened and for more than three months I've roused myself from my beloved slumber every morning at increasingly ridiculous times to walk and I've been loving it! Seriously, the last two days, I've woken at 4 am to take a two hour wander.

Also this year I got a job I like, that is an 8 hour a day, civilised hours, working with people I adore, it's a freaking miracle! We saved some money, and I have routines, my life is AWESOME!

RIP creative Zen. And Hello new creative zen.

2010-12-13T19:23:00.002+08:00

I have loved my creative zen vision W since the day the everlovin' brought it home for me. Sadly, it passed away late last night. This machine has survived many years of my buttery fingers that insist on dropping everything, uncomfortable journeys through foreign countries and hours and hours and hours of repetitive music. It was beaten and bloody and it just kept on going. I'm not usually a brand hound, and I don't believe that lots of stuff will make you happy, but I know that the right item can make your life very, very enjoyable.

Knowing how I love my zen, and hate having to learn new techno toys, I was prepared for this moment.

Say hello, to the something-I-prepared-earlier Zen. Brand new zen vision W, new in box that I bought a year ago. Works like a charm, fits the protective case that I already have, and look! no need to learn a thing!

The difference an egg makes.

2010-12-12T11:04:00.003+08:00

We'd been walking daily for a while, and I just couldn't figure out why I was sooo tired all the time. My legs ached (which was weird) and I felt sad and fragile. I felt betrayed, lied to, and misled - isn't exercise meant to make you feel better, not worse?

I've been vegetarian for .. I don't know... almost a year maybe? but I was getting anxious around meat, more than once declaring 'I'm going to eat it today' but always failing to follow through. A recent blood donation where the nurse thought I had an iron level that was excellent for a carnivor and a definite vegetarian best, ruled out iron (Go spinach! You awesome, awesome food). What the hell was going on?

Protein. That was what had not been happening. I eat an egg in the morning and life is bright and sunshiny and possible. No egg and I'm a sad girl who cannot stop yawning.

I'm sure my equilibrium wasn't so easily upset when I was a junk food obsessed couch potato.

bliss n eso

2010-12-12T11:03:00.004+08:00

I am so obsessed with this band right now. I usually hate the hip and/or the hop, but these guys with their beautiful words, catchy beats, and intelligent thoughts are a worthy exception to that very firm rule. There are many phrases that make my heart leap with their wonderfullness, but let's just start with the song that first caught my attention... Bliss n Eso 'Addicted'. For some reason I love me some swear words, and I love, love, love them in a context of encouraging people to be awesome, to think critically, and to subvert expectation. So, how excited do I get when faced with beautiful imagery, some rude words and the proclamation 'I DO give a fuck!'

(A: Very)

I was born in the 80's with that summertime love
Then changed the whole game like whatever I'd done
Out the gutter I come to touch the bright sun
And from the highest heights motherfucker I jumped

Free in the sky of belief I can fly,
Ain't no tellin what they're sellin man
They're sheep in disguise
Keep this in mind, I keep on my grind
I can do it any way I wanna do it and
B!tch I'll sleep when I die

Explosive, ferocious, get up get down that's showbiz
Power to the people that have freedom in their focus
I hope this helps you when you're under the thumb
When you feel like nothing can save you
When you feel like jumpin the gun

Stop relax and remember even in the worst weather
You'll find a way across it
There'll be brighter days honest
So get up, get out and get somethin that's on the real
Forget what you were taught
And show these people how you feel like

Chorus
Who are you to tell me how to live my life (my life)
Cause I won't give this up,
These are my shoes, my view, my cue
To say I do give a fuck
And pretty soon Imma bloomin it'll be alright
Everyday's another chance to ignite
Cause I'm addicted (o-Oh)
I'm addicted (o-Oh)
I'm addicted to this universal feelin called life

.......

Yeah since a foetus, explored life's subtle secrets
From my fingertips to my unique double helix
I can see history, I can see the past lessons
It's your right never be afraid to ask questions

How can every religion, claim to be the only one
How can they preach love
Yet fight each other holding guns
I think the golden sun may be able to shed some light
I'd rather push peace and knowledge to defend our right

These leaders in suits tell us to fight for one side
You think they got their sons and daughters on the frontline?
Not down for war but down to get an education
we're all evil yet they push synthetic separation
But in this matrix I won't be failin to make it
This is my cosmos baby space sailin with Satan
I heard it's not where your from
It's where your carvin' your view
I heard you don't have to wear a suit
To argue the truth and so

Chorus
.....

They spoon feed but I won't be taken that sedative
Cause my thoughts are way to precious
To waste on the negative
I keep them critical yet positive to break the chains
Every dawn is a new chance to make a change

Think bout all the energy swirlin all around us
We project it, we get affected, it's just profound stuff
Earth is my garden and I grew from it
I pay the youth homage cause I know their views honest

Can you read between the lines of the news comments
Fightin over land just to take some fuel from it
I guess oil boils down to some cool profits
But war, what is it good for really who wants it?
Like

Chorus

brush with the past

2010-12-11T07:59:00.005+08:00

The past scares me, it can return at any moment and without any of the helpful horror movie music that lets you know something is about to happen. Anyway my latest brush with the past involved the return of an old boyfriend! I don't know why the past shocks me so much, it's not like it wasn't awesome, it certainly wasn't terrible. It just makes me wonder things like 'why do people think of me?' or 'what makes them want to revisit what is done?'

After my initial shock - and embarressment at not recognising him - I was ready to leave this reunion unexplored (I can be indecisive and my motto is: when in doubt, do nothing). When he again contacted me, we talked and it was really, really fantastic. Our relationship was so long ago, and I had forgotten that we had been good friends who had enjoyed hanging out together. He is still easy to talk to and I'm not sure if we'll talk again, but the experience has reminded me that it's important to not close the door on the past. Thank you past boyfriend, I'm glad you looked me up.

What a weekend!

2010-10-24T15:21:00.004+08:00

Friday begins before five a.m., for the usual walk and work, a hurry home to see a potential rental property, say hello to Attila the Mum who is staying the weekend and the everlovin' and I are meant to be going out to dinner. Dinner deteriorates into going dutch at Hungry Jacks as neither of us wants to buy other a decent dinner, and we are joined by a slightly inebriated Curtainman. The everlovin' brags that he knows how to 'show his girl a good time' and Hervor looks to the heavens for an answer as she wonders how it all could have come to this slightly ridiculous and hilarious place. Majesstic - looking especially beauteous - joins us after as we wait for our favourite independent band to play us some rockin' and rollin' tunes. The first support band was good, the second was badly tuned, badly dressed punk and Majesstic and I slip away to a slightly quieter bar to catch up and laugh until the much awaited Novocaines debut.

The Novocaines are predictably awesome and they have some new tunes (and a new EP!) since we saw them last, although I feel a little weird being in a pub, watching a band and drinking coffee. It's 1am before we are safely home though, and I am shattered and sleep deprived.

But the sleep deprivation continues as I rise for the now sacred 5am walk. I'm back in bed for a further few hours of much needed napping and all too soon we are in the car and on our way to Perth to see one of my fave bands that I never, ever thought I would be lucky enough to see... Concrete Blonde.

They were magnificent! Johnette Napolitano was a goddess, all long black dress and Slash like swagger, It was impossible to take your eyes off her. Opening with Bloodletting, the set lasted for two flawless hours. Highlights included 'True' and 'When I was a Fool'. Johnette has an incredible voice and the times when she really let it ring out gave me the shivers. I cannot rave enough, this was Best. Live show. Ever. Period.

2010-10-24T12:55:00.001+08:00

finally, a sport i can take seriously

Traveler's rest

2010-10-17T08:17:00.006+08:00

There is something incredibly peaceful and nourishing about being in nature. This isn't news I know, but getting up at dawn each day to wander through the bushland for an hour reminds me that it's importance is so easy to forget. I'm not the most mindful person, I spend the majority of my life living in the short term future - always looking forward. It often takes someone to point out the small things that make the present such a delight to dwell in.

Walking through the bushland allows my primal self to create cracks in the all encompassing dominance of my mind, and draws it to the smell of the morning air, the colour of the dawn, and the talk and play of the birds and wildlife. This is the only time apart from when I reiki, that I feel any measure of peace.

An hour ago I started reading Alan Weisman's World Without Us. Already my conscious and subconscious dreams revolve around travel, but now there is another wonderous place to add to the never ending list of places I must see for myself - Belavezhskaya (Belovezhskaya?) Pushcha on the Polish-Belarus border. The last and largest part of the eauropean primeval forest - I need to go there*, to wander in it's magnificence.

*Yes. I am aware that my freak flag is flying higher than ever before, thank you for noticing.

some sort of financial update. Also the snooze, the whole snooze and nothing but the snooze.

2010-10-16T19:26:00.005+08:00

It's not exactly cheap living doing what we are doing - we pay to have the cat in storage, the stuff in storage and pay rent to keep ourselves stored safely away in a warm house - but it's a fraction of what having a mortgage cost us. To be honest, I've always loved living in a room, rather than a house. I love it when I travel, and I'm loving it right now.

Not having the mortgage means our debt is way down. We owe 150K on the block of land, and just under $7K on the 0% interest credit card we got to pay the block of land deposit (so we didn't have to cash in our shares - which have nearly doubled in value in the mean time). This lifestyle allows us to put all of my salary into debt, and I will literally be working for the next 6 weeks just to pay off my past purchases, but given that I love my job so much, it's no great burden. If my contract isn't renewed we will be back to zero consumer debt, totally credit card less AND I won't need to desperately find any job that will take me. If the gods and management smile down upon me and offer a new contract our financial future will be increasingly secure.

Most importantly I have been healthier and happier than I may have ever been. My mind feels empty but restful, and there is space for me to take the time to listen to the needs of my body and soul. I've had time to spend with my loved ones, and also to spend the entire day sleeping if that's what I need (as happened today!)

2010-10-16T15:48:00.002+08:00

“Anyone can revolt. It is more difficult silently to obey our own inner promptings, and to spend our lives finding sincere and fitting means of expression for our temperament and our gifts.”
-- Georges Rouault

Words of love

2010-10-14T07:26:00.008+08:00

Show your soul

Show your mind

Show it to me all the time

-The Black Keys 'Keep Me'

I was listening to this on the way to work this morning and I realised that this phrase is possibly the most loving thing a person can say to another. It seems such an unselfish and genuine love to ask to see someone for who they truly are.

My views on love are somewhat cynical, a strange stance for a person who has been in a wonderful relationship for 15 odd years. I believe that all great love ends in tragedy - whether it's unrequited, a person dies, the love itself dies, or dementia takes hold 60 years later. I was never the girl who needed to find a man, and when the everlovin' decided that I was the one for him, it threw me into a bit of confusion.

I can't stand smaltzy love songs or romantic comedies, and have been accused of not having a great relationship because the everlovin' and I don't profess our love regularly. Three little words are not the answer to anything - performing many daily kindnesses over a prolonged period of time is much more difficult and constantly taking another persons needs into account is downright hard.

I may have to update this post as more thoughts occur to me on this subject

hervor curses the sun just so she can howl at the moon

2010-10-14T07:26:00.007+08:00

i don't know why. i just do.

Trying a new tradition

2010-10-06T19:48:00.002+08:00

Since I'm feeling so fantastic, I've been getting up at 5 am to walk the beautiful bush tracks behind the place we live. It's a beautiful time to be awake, just light enough to see and peaceful as possible. The walk takes an hour and it hasn't been killing me - despite the massively steep hill that makes me puff when I drive up it. I would love to make this a tradition for the rest of my life.

oh yeah. that's what i'm talking about.

2010-10-05T17:06:00.002+08:00

huh. i just realised that apart from when we travel, right now has been the most stress free, enjoyable time of my life.

What does that mean exactly? It means that I've been constantly tired from shift work for about 13 years, financially stressed since the time time I've had to worry about my own money - and then deal with the heavy mortage monkey and of course, my own tendancy to overload myself with work hasn't helped.

At the moment I have a wonderful job, am surrounded by wonderful people, have no mortgage monkey, and a great opportunity to create a sound financial base. The result? I have time to wonder, time to wander, exercise, laugh, listen, think and dream.

It's fucking amazing!

Dress sense, and lack thereof

2010-10-03T07:21:00.003+08:00

yup, the intricate details of manhood are just as confusing and bewildering as those governing women. Those people who can read them - consciously or unconsciously - will do better socially than those who don't.

check out how to give the perfect man hug

I've been having lots of conversations about cultural difference and it's been fun and challenging to critique the norms of other cultures and have the norms of my culture critiqued right back. One such conversation has revolved around the different expectations regarding personal presentation. Here it is very lax, and while people still claim identity and in turn are judged on how they look, it is far less strict than in other places. In my world, the standard is to be relatively clean, but untucked shirts, unmatching clothing, stubble (for men) and casual comfort is de riguer. For one European friend, to be seen with an untucked and unironed shirt would be akin to admitting your entire life had fallen apart and you just couldn't cope. The conversation about the meaning and necessity of social conformity regarding dress has been heated and involved much mental wrangling from both sides. Did I cheat when I brought down the entire argument by implying (and not subtly, never subtly) that my friends' people were superficial if not downright shallow? Probably.

A simple, wonderfully fulfilling day

2010-10-02T13:19:00.000+08:00

Today was the kind of day that I can usually only dream of. Cheery, the hounds and I hit the bushwalking trail and Cheery showed me how to use the macro lens on my camera. With that simple act she unleashed an excitable monster. None of the many early showing beauties of the wildflower season were left unphotographed and I delighted in each and every new find.

Next was my favourite kind of hedonistic bliss - reflexology. Bless those students and their cheap sessions. Totally blissed out, I emerged reinvigorated and ready for the next stage of my day of awesome - Busselton to visit the holidaying Little River. It was lovely, sitting in the sun soaking up that holiday vibe. Dunsborough bakery was our lunchtime treat - a cheese and spinach sausage roll and the best damn chocolate mudcake I have possibly ever eaten. Back in Busso we drank coffee with chocolate spoons, and relaxed, catching up on the minutae of our lives. Ahhh, how good is life when it is like this?

As any reader can probably tell, I'm loving the relaxation and free time that I have been so long without. If life continues like this I will be a very happy camper.

Excitement.

2010-10-02T09:00:00.006+08:00

It's interesting how people pop into your life so unexpectedly. I've met someone who is the most interesting person I've conversed with in an extremely long time. We have long conversations that run the gamut of finance, philosophy, politics and personal belief and experience. We strongly agree about much, and disagree just as strongly. It's a strange feeling, to be excited about seeing someone. I find myself composing arguments in my head while I shower, and pondering the thougtful insights that are presented to me.

All my life, most of my friends - while sharing the same basic values - do not share my interests and hobbies, my worldview, my desire to understand... something, the world of grey that buffets my beliefs from side to side, and here is someone, that for now at least, who piques my curiosity, tests my intellect, shares my obsession with freedom, and who's example makes me believe that is is possible to be stronger, better, faster, more.

It was going to be a rant, but I'm just too sad and bewildered by the world

2010-09-26T08:45:00.003+08:00

A lazy kinda day and I watch the John Pilger doco Welcome to Australia. As expected it got me all riled up again about the continued injustices doled out to Indigenous Australians, but I still wasn't prepared when the dad of my favourite ever kid tells me that this beautifully sweet ten year old has had to change schools because of the racism he experiences at the hands of the other kids.

When I extoll the virtues of this young'un, I do not exaggerate. He's friendly, happy and has no meanness whatsoever. It breaks my heart to think that in this world, he's going to have to develop some defenses to deal with the effects of racism that will only build as he gets older. It's going to make him tougher and less generous with his extraordinary soul, and it's us - all of us - who will pay the price.

2010-09-25T11:10:00.003+08:00

So life is settling down again, I've dropped out of uni, and I am left with a returning imagination and lots of joyful feelings. Yup, this is another rant filled post extolling the wonderfuls of my life.

1. My job. I loves it.

The work is good. The people are fantastic, fun, clever, imaginative and innovative. The conversations nourish my intellect and soul. The money is plentiful. The commute is through beautiful bushland and picturesque farms. Yesterday I drove through a herd of cows.

2. Sleeps.

I am having lots of them. Good ones. Leaving relaxation in their wake.

There is more... stay tuned

Hervor gets cranky

2010-09-14T17:40:00.002+08:00

It's not that unusual really, but it's been building lately. I'm short tempered with people and their views.

I got insanely angry with a racist, but had to walk away before I lost my job.
I got insanely angry that someone argued that my indifference to children wasn't possible.
I got angry with a friend who judges people harshly (ha! like I don't?)

I was too irrational at these moments to construct an argument that wasn't going to make me look like I was having a tantrum, and was left instead to stew the hours away afterwards. Afterwards, I dreamed of the things I could have, nay should have said and ignored the overwhelming feeling that it wasn't the other people that was the problem. Maybe I'm feeling that all my flaws, my damage, my pain are raw and exposed. Maybe I feel like I've lost control of my life. Maybe it's just part of the process of transitional periods as you adjust to the changes in your life.

It's probably that. I hope it passes soon.

i love, love, love this quote

2010-09-11T18:33:00.001+08:00

“Traveling is a brutality. It forces you to trust strangers and to lose sight of all that familiar comfort of home and friends. You are constantly off balance. Nothing is yours except the essential things – air, sleep, dreams, the sea, the sky – all things tending towards the eternal or what we imagine of it.” – Cesare Pavese

Money and excitement

2010-09-03T06:34:00.004+08:00

I think I've found my next stage financial master. I shake my head in wonder at how people pop into your life so unexpectedly. A lot like me in many ways - my prospective financial master (FM) loves to travel and shares many of my views and values - but is much further along the path to frugality, simplicity and healthfulness. The main difference between us is that these qualities are an innate part of the masters self, while for me, these aren't - they are qualities I'm looking to cultivate to a similar stage.

We are moving house at the moment. For a week we have been squatting in our own home on filthy mattresses on the floor (I tell people we are trying out the junkie lifestyle before we commit to any new habits). Bad taste jokes aside, we are leaking money like we do have an expensive heroine habit. It's expensive to move, even when you are crashing with friends like we are and frugality needs stability. The new financial master doesn't seem to have the workload that I do - and I've been a stressed out mofo lately. Yes again. Am I becoming used to the thrill of stress, seriously I've had more jobs than lamb roasts lately and life just keeps getting crazier. I'm taking a stand and dropping some units at uni which will lighten the workload considerably but also raise my guilt levels.

I'm going to make time for friends, read books for fun and take a slower approach to life. I can continue to learn, just not at such a frantic and structured pace - it's not a race to the finish line!! (this is what I must tell myself anyway).

Anyway, back to the financial master. Having someone to talk about money and frugality and investment with is exciting. I'm sure everyone else I know is bored of hearing about our conversations, but the point of it all, and the reward of the work that goes into frugality and paying attention to your cash is highlighted by the following conversation with a co worker.

When I was saying how excited I was about the savings this new lifestyle would enable us to achieve, he said 'But where's the reward?'.
'About five km's left of town' I replied without missing a beat.

Yup, my rewards are large - a beautiful piece of land that bears all the promises of a better life.

Kinda hard to beat huh?

where i'm at

2010-08-24T18:52:00.003+08:00

While many bloggers talk about staycations, i'm about to embark on a backpacking adventure as we enter the world of homelessness (ok, we're not strictly homeless - we are imposing on friends). This is all the luxury of backpacking without those pesky once in a lifetime experiences and hard earned travel stories, and all the excitement of going to work everyday. We're living with few possessions, in a bedroom at our friends place.

Quite frankly, I'm excited. And confused. And unsure. So it's business as usual in my mind. I'm excited at the money we will save, the better financial position this allows us, the unusualness of the situation (We've never lived at someone else's house before).

It's been a stressful few weeks because we haven't had a great deal of time to sort everything out and move, all the while bearing the flu and going to work everyday. I kinda wigged a bit in the middle there. But we moved in a week ago, cleaned the old house and the new owners have taken possession.

Come Monday we should be less a mortgage and 350K of debt. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy!
This weekend though, I've been looking forward to for a long time. This is two days of no plans. Sure, I plan to tame our room into some sort of order, figure out my wireless internet and read and nap and indulge in all manner of lazy, but it's all gravy. I haven't had a weekend like this in months.

dream of the day

2010-08-15T08:35:00.004+08:00

I dreamed I was on a Ferris wheel, but it wasn't where it was meant to be. Instead of being in a busy fun park or overlooking a city as i was expecting, it was in bushland in a big, dirty old shed. It was alternately very cramped on the wheel, as I ducked or tucked in my legs to avoid the ground, rusty lockers, or the roof, and extremely high, and I could see unbelievably beautiful lakes far down below and caught glimpses of stunning vistas in between the rusty lockers.

I had no seat belt and the everlovin' was a few seats away from me. It was a strange and extraordinarily vivid dream that was at once full of fear and wonder.

beginning a frugality bender

2010-08-11T20:37:00.005+08:00

i've been having some fantastic conversations lately with people about money. i work with some extremely frugal people and it's really giving me plenty to think about. One co worker saves 80% of her income, another will be wealthy enough to retire in comfort in about two years (he's around 40). With our house having an offer, and the chance to get rid of that mortgage monkey, i'm feeling excited. I just need to figure out how to do it.

eat lots of vegetables... soups, casseroles etc. buy vegetables at weekend farmers markets
no buying takeaway food.
cut down electricity bill by turning off vampire power
shorten showers.

i'm really exccited by how little money we spent in melb and how much 'bang' we got for that money. I really want to travel more! All these conversations about travel are making me feel restless - there is an entire world out there for me to explore!

cheezeburgers!!

2010-07-11T10:05:00.004+08:00

Robkaay's Silverbirch

2010-06-27T15:52:00.004+08:00

I bought this book yesterday at Supanova and it didn't win me over. The main characters weren't likable and it was repetitive - a wax like version - I freaking get it! It was explainy instead of story teller-y and indulged in my personal pet hate - superior beings brought down to human level. Instead of leaving them above the petty bullshit of humanity and raising up human characters in an exercise of character and plot development, Robkaay took the disappointing low road. This ultimately undermined the premise of the story and I did what I rarely do - about 2/3 through I flicked and speed read through to the end. I have other complaints about the book, but they are probably unnecessary at this point.

I Googled other reviews for this book to see if I was being unnecessarily harsh, but only found two - one from Robkaay giving himself five stars and another review (also five stars) by a person who's one sentence explanation of why this book deserved such a high rating was incoherent.

Majesstic and I, a road trip to Perth and a festival of the nerds!

2010-06-27T10:36:00.011+08:00

We left at 7.30 am heading for Supanova, not really sure what to expect. We talked all the way to perth and parked at a train station. I say 'Now, remember which train station we parked at' and we laugh at our ridiculousness as we cannot fathom the mysteries of the public transportation system and someone has to help us buy our tickets.

We catch a train to Perth city and upon spying some brightly coloured cosplayers followed them to the bus point. We enjoy a long and winding city tour that took 45 minutes to drive us two suburbs. We joke about them getting the nerd herd together to annihilate in a sneak attack, and the conspiracy theory seems plausible as as we queue in a never ending line for entrance in the sunshine, eyes squinting and pasty skin unused to vitamin D, sizzling. We couldn't answer the question of how to separate the nerds from the geeks and were entirely excited to be finally inside. It was packed with peoples, costumed and not. We cannot help but head straight to Borders, talking with authors Jennifer Fallon and Robkaay. Majesstic buys three books, I buy one. We must now carry them for the next 6 hours.

Because the journey took us so long, we have missed Mark Lutz aka The Grussalugg. We join a Q & A with Buffy and Angels Charisma Carpenter, but are stand at the back of the crowded room and cannot hear that well. I have been busting to go to the toilet for quite some time and the matter is becoming urgent. With that addressed and relief aplenty, we continue on through the throngs of people, checking out the stalls and marveling at the well dressed cosplayers. With some time to kill we listen to Robkaay read a chapter from his book, we want to crash the Whedonverse exclusive but we are kicked out. The lunch line is long but fast moving and $7.50 buys me a small chips and a bottle of water. We continue checking out stalls looking for Buffy related merchandise before heading in to see Summer Glau's Q&A. She is extremely beautiful in real life, and even appears to be a little timid.

One question that was asked of her was where she saw River's character going after Serenity, it was a great question and Summer said that she saw River moving on, growing into herself, eventually going solo and fighting her own missions. I agree, I see River as potentially a very powerful woman, a force to be reckoned with, who could change the world on her own terms.

Then, onwards to the Q&A with Jennifer Fallon and Christian Tamblyn. Poor Christian was a little overshadowed by the force that is Jennifer, but they spoke about some really interesting things about the process of writing and getting published. I went and bought Christian's book - I like to support Australian talent. Then it was the end of a wonderful day. Our feet were sore and our backs ached (Ok, that was Majesstic who toted her heavy books around all day). It was an incredibly fantastic day and I'm booking my spot on next year's Supanova!!

ps thanks to all those beautifully dressed peeps who let me take their photo!

random update

2010-06-27T10:16:00.003+08:00

One week into my new job and it's going well. The topic doesn't necessarily float my boat but it's a great environment peopled with well educated, innovative, passionate and creative types. It's intellectually challenging, and I have no frame of reference for the work we are doing. I cannot contribute, but ask a gazillion questions in order to soak up the answers in the hope that eventually I will eventually be able to hold my own.

I've been spending money on my health, having had reflexology and trigger point to help with my stress levels, and I plan to incorporate regular therapy to help me become more healthful. Vegetarianism is going well, and definitely is in line with my values. I've given up coffee as a crutch, and am already enjoying the regular sleep patterns the new job affords. My phone is used to remind myself to do small tasks, like drink juice and take multivitamins first thing in the morning. Carbonated beverages, including my beloved colas are not settling well in my stomach and my consumption is down - I haven't had any in 4 days - it's a good thing. I'm still eating too much processed food, but my vegetable intake has risen considerably, and I'm eating beans regularly that I've never eaten before in my life.

I've booked myself into a soul painting/artistic therapy workshop next month, and I also have group facilitator training in perth for the cancer council all before uni starts. I'm looking forward to doing something creative. Life seems so serious lately, and there is no good reason for that!

madness - it's over!

2010-06-18T18:34:00.002+08:00

Yesterday I had a reflexology session and it was so unbelievably divine! My therapist was very concerned about the tenseness in my shoulders, back and jaw and has insisted my next session be trigger point. I would have much preferred reiki or reflexology but sadly that is not to be my fate.

I stayed up till 1am and only wrote one of the essay for my exam. I couldn't find any other references to the topic outside the text book. Looks like my exam is going to be a rewrite of the textbook chapter for these topics. I've already got a passing grade for the unit, but a higher grade is always better. The late night was followed up with a 4am start to start writing the last essay and make some attempt to learn them.

The exam itself was alright, hopefully I scored a few points for the effort. The relief was immense, I can't believe I managed to get through this last week!

Madness day 8 - 2 more to go!

2010-06-16T18:44:00.002+08:00

4.30 am, wake up for final exam swatting. 9 am exam and although the 4 exam questions are a little more particular than I was expecting I feel confident that I knew what I was talking about. I was allowed to submit up to 8 pages of writing and turned in a 7 1/2 page cursive marathon. I'm really glad I put the extra study effort in. Afterward I feel fantastic, relieved and verging on ecstasy - I need a nap. 3 hours later I'm awake again and needing to sort out the clothes order for the new job. Why is everything 'I need it and I need it done now?' The two therapies I'd been booked for tomorrow were canceled today and I'm actually a little relieved - one less thing to do!

I book myself in for a proper treat - a reflexology session. I love to wax lyrical about the complementary therapies, the absolute necessity of relaxation and yet I don't much practice what I preach. It doesn't help that I do not know any therapists, no one in my circle of friends is much like me (except Clare who is another animal rescue enthusiast) and the painful expense of paying for a therapy undoes any good it may do. Still, after all this work I feel like I deserve something more than just my education and paycheck (lol!).

I really want this next six months to be about health and happiness and balance.

madness day 7

2010-06-15T22:51:00.002+08:00

5.30 am start, to finalise the essay and practice writing it.

I am outraged that exams have to be physically written. I never write anything, and my hand hurts half way through the practice run.

Relief pumps through my veins when I turn the exam paper over and the question is what I am expecting - I didn't realise how high my stress levels were over this worry.

Feel unreasonably happy when the essay is done, but come crashing down when I'm told the rescheduled exam hasn't been rescheduled for the agreed day. My mild manneredness is about to go nuclear and I'm about to go all chuck norris on their asses.

Am unreasonably hungry by the time I get home and when I drop the last packet of two minute noodles all over the floor, the last thread is broken. I head to McDonalds for meatless cheeseburgers and a Clare sundae and

scoff it because I need to visit my new workplace and have coffee with my new boss. Exam is rescheduled for the right day (tomorrow) and I start to study. Sure, I have no time for extra study but will kick myself if I don't do it.

madness day 6

2010-06-14T22:51:00.003+08:00

I didn't get much sleep after night shift though, I was up after only a few hours preparing the 2000 word essay for the next day's exam. It's an interesting subject though and I chose to write about the marginalisation of women with mental illness in Australia (answer: in a hell of lot of ways that keep reinforcing the illness and the marginalisation).

I REALLY want this week to be over and I'm even more glad that I am able to participate in this out of control lifestyle - cause even though i'm overwhelmed and stressed to the max, the choice is always there for me to get off this roller coaster.

madness day 5

2010-06-13T22:49:00.002+08:00

The last night shift went well, and I am starting to get very excited about living a 'normal' life with less sleep deprivation.

One of my co workers absolutely made my day by sending up a box of chocolates and a card. I've never met her, but we talk a lot on the phone and it's been an absolute pleasure.

madness day 4

2010-06-12T22:49:00.001+08:00

My last day shift was marked with this facebook post:

4am is a perfectly respectable time to go to bed, but an absolutely ridiculous time to be getting up. Today I say goodbye to 4am wake ups and hello full nights sleep!

You'd be right to assume that I won't miss those early starts.

Madness day 3

2010-06-11T22:48:00.000+08:00

My last weekday day shift, there was cake and awkward conversation with the cake vultures who don't really like or know me but really like cake and wanted to get to know it better.

madness day 2

2010-06-10T22:48:00.000+08:00

Cancer council support group. There was a guest speaker this month, who volunteered as a comp therapist and was diagnosed with breast cancer. Her story was fascinating and I was quite mesmerised. It's such an eye opening experience going along to these sessions and I really need to find some balance in my life.

madness day 1

2010-06-09T22:47:00.000+08:00

I've been feeling overwhelmed lately. Just when I should be taking a break for my hard earned efforts, exams have arrived and I'm facing the start of a new job. It's almost too much. Last week was meant to be my first exam.. I was half assed prepared, showed up for the exam and to my surprise - the questions were wrong!

I spent an hour trying to convince the uni that I wasn't a lazy slacker (yeah, ok. I am) but I know enough to know what my unit was not about and no, I really don't want to have a go at the questions anyway.

Cheezeburgers!!

2010-06-08T08:38:00.004+08:00

titleless post

2010-06-07T22:10:00.005+08:00

Driving home from a pleasant day out, the evening took a surprise turn when a block from home we ran over a cat. Luckily we were able to catch the stricken moggy and after a tragedy of errors - urgent need to fuel up the car, hervor in a rush underpays the cashier and has to run back, the everlovin' drove us in the wrong direction - we get kitty to the a 24 hour vet.

Prognosis is uncertain at the moment, and the gorgeous young girl has at least a broken jaw and we are out $85. Tomorrow we have the task of trying to locate her owners.

UPDATE: I door knocked until I found the owner, and called the vet asking them to let us know if the owner couldn't/wouldn't pay for kitty to be attended to. Several hours later all responsibility and associated fees for kitty were ours. Unfortunately the girl died while under anesthetic - she had had a perforated diaphragm.

I felt bad, It must suck to not be able to pay for your pets' health, but I also believe that when you gain a pet, you gain a dependent, and that dependence means you must provide everything they need to healthy and happy. It's not a great fucking system and it's easier said than done. Our bush cat - ole yellow eyes - likes to shun us and so doesn't get the routine love and health checks that she probably should.

So, someone else's pet cost me $300. My own pet cost me $140 (when I finally caught her and took her to the vet, after she taunted me mercilessly for an hour from across the road). We did everything we could to save the little cats life and I'm feel happy with myself, because our actions were completely in line with our values.

adventures in her(bi)vorism part one

2010-06-06T16:23:00.002+08:00

It's been a coupe of weeks of vegetarianism and it's going very well. I passed my first big vegetarian test with flying colours, when everyone was eating my (previously) favourite meat heavy dishes - and I wasn't even jealous. Admittedly I was shocked to realise I couldn't eat prawn crackers but was more worried about eating some just out of habit than because they were now inedible to me.

Turns out most of my junk food choices were meat ones - mostly because they were very convenient.

Hervor: me hungry, what eat?

Hervor forages in the fridge and cupboard seeing only ingredients but no FOOD.

Hervor starts to get cranky and agitated: Me just wake up. FEED me!

Hervor is losing hope of ever eating ever again and wants to go back to bed and not face this famine problem, but wait! there is food in the freezer - already made, no thought required!

question

2010-06-01T21:08:00.002+08:00

So i'm watching Australia's Got Talent (don't judge me) and there is the Girlfriend Pure Pole Angels, who are just trying to prove that pole dancing is a sport and SERIOUS and not just for strippers.

Admittedly I'm not a pole dancing/stripping aficionado, but I'm confused. They are dressed in their undies and spent a lot of time with their legs spread... what am I missing?

Can there be joy at 4am? turns out there can...

2010-06-01T07:03:00.003+08:00

Today, as I woke at 4.20am to go to work, there was a text. An invitation to an event, perhaps not so unusual, you might think.

What made this invitation so special was that this was an event I had discounted due to shiftwork lifestyle (ie I was working night shift) and now, NOW I AM FREE!

This is the first of presumably many positives that I can expect due to this lifestyle change. Now there will be no missed events - not for at least the next six months anyway!

Photos from the five acres of freedom

2010-05-30T19:50:00.011+08:00

I never noticed how many beautiful autumn trees we have around..

2010-05-30T19:18:00.002+08:00

Her(bi)vor(e) the Howler

2010-05-29T13:43:00.003+08:00

i'm officially a vegetarian. That means no more delicious KFC, bacon, chorizo or crispy szechuan beef. I've always eaten lots of meatless meals, and have always told myself that apart from fast food and chinese restaurant gorges that I don't eat much meat. It will be interesting to see how true I find that statement was.

It's been a week now and I haven't even noticed my meat free status.

I gots a new job! (again)

2010-05-29T13:20:00.002+08:00

Yes, I am a crazy jobhopper these days, even though I really dislike the discomfort that learning a new role brings. My current job is pretty ok, and has lots of really good points. It's a bit cruisy, indoors, climate controlled and clean. It has lots of leave time, I work on my own and can listen to music.

So what could entice me away from that? day shift, more money and a great manager. I will prob spend a lot of time working on my own with music in my ears. I will have public holidays off and will hopefully live a bit more of a normal life.

a lazy day off

2010-05-24T00:10:00.004+08:00

So even though I spent most of the day slacked out on the couch playing spider solitaire and watching tv, I did get a couple of things done. I finally got around to figuring out EndNote and read half of Emily Maguire's Princesses and Pornstars.. easy feminist reading that I can pass off as uni work!

Financials

2010-05-23T22:01:00.004+08:00

I've finally run the financial numbers for our new and massively increased debt. Until November or we sell our house - whichever comes first - we will be on a fiscal tightrope.. one slip and we'll fall pretty damn hard.

In some ways it's a good thing. It makes us appreciate our small purchases and everything we earn is being put towards a better future. Unfortunately it also hurts like hell.

Any fun money I have available will have to be saved to put towards next semesters uni fees. Nevermind, it will hopefully be worth it when the house sells and we have a massively decreased debt.

Trying to extend the life of planned obsolescence.. just a little

2010-05-22T23:46:00.003+08:00

I get so frustrated with the poor quality and planned obsolescence of consumer items. A few weeks ago, I bought a new phone and wanted to protect it from my notorious ability to drop and destroy objects using only my own clumsiness and Newton's law of gravity. My local phone dealer gave the choice of plastic or silicone covers - both having the requisite pros and cons - and I paid $15 for two plastic covers... which were both broken within 7 days of purchase. Now, I'm not too proud to have taped the second cover back together and it is still, albeit precariously, adorning and protecting the phone. It will need to be replaced very shortly.

This afternoon I woke up with an idea - googling the best price for plastic covers. This led to looking at expensive leather covers and a conversation about the ethics of using animal products (I love my socially conscious friends)! Further googling found a faux leather case costing $6 and will likely outlive the phone. I understand that this purchase is still designed obsolescence, but it's definitely a better choice and one that I can feel happier about.

more lolcats from the cheezeburger network

2010-05-22T23:41:00.001+08:00

it sneaks up on you..

2010-05-21T21:06:00.003+08:00

So when somebody asked me what I'd been doing and I explained that I'd been getting all ranty on a discussion board about Talcott Parsons' sociobiological theories, and all I got was a blank look and general boredom and I thought 'Huh. I have learned some stuff'.

We are the landed gentry!

2010-05-21T15:28:00.005+08:00

Our land settled today! That beautiful piece of luxury in the middle of nowhere is officially ours!

We've dreamed of this for so long, gotten so lost along the way, and finally found the place where we are meant to be. It's so exciting, it's going to be so much work, but I'm so excited that not only will we be living in a great place, with space to breathe and create, we'll be doing it with much lower financial commitments!

Musing about work

2010-05-21T15:27:00.000+08:00

I've been working myself into the ground, with one eye on the middle of June, when I was getting a month off from work AND uni. But of course, no good deed goes unpunished and it looks like I may start a new and improved job! The very next day after my last exam, I'll be on a plane flying to Victoria. Yup, there's some travel in this here position!

But wait! There's more!! The ladies at the Cancer Council have recommended me as their replacement when they retire in 6-8 months. That is wonderful - and while I promised myself that I would only enrol in 2 units next semester, I'm not thinking that I should put in a big effort to get a little further along in my studies.

So, new plan is that I spend what was going to be my month off for good behaviour, settling into my new job and adjusting to traveling for projects, and then following that up with an enormous amount of coursework.

Repeat after me. all this work will eventually pay off, all this work will eventually pay off, all this work will eventually pay off, all this work will eventually pay off.

musing about study

2010-05-21T14:55:00.002+08:00

Sure, I've been neglecting the blog lately. It's mostly because Facebook is so damn addictive, but it's time I got back on my soap box.

I submitted my last essay for the semester this morning, and with just the exams to go I'm feeling a lot less overwhelmed. My study style changed a lot this semester. I have never done all the readings before - my style was to read a few, then research the shit out of my essay topic for a week. This semester I've read everything, idly thought about my essay topic, and then written it about 12 hours before it's due. My grades have definitely suffered - now I'm earning 70's rather than 80's - I hate to see the result drop, but i also have to be realistic - I'm fucking busy and the important thing is that I get the units completed. It probably doesn't matter that my grades are good rather than great.